The Better Man.

By: Dan_P @KissSpeedDating 

Right off the bat, let me ask you to think about who do you want to be? Really think about it. Who-do-you-want-to-be? Break the guy down and analyze him. The more you can provide yourself with details, the better. Think about his job, his style, his swagger, his hair, his like and dislikes, his taste in things, and his love of things. If it helps, idolize yourself with your favorite musician, actor, athlete or anyone else you admire. Compare the person you are to this person you want to be. This will allow you to break down and analyze the differences. The only way you will be able to make a transition into the person you want to be is to work on one area at a time; otherwise it will be impossible to do all at once. Don't be someone your not, but it's essential you are always growing and developing yourself. So with that, here are some tips for upgrading you.

1. Work Out - Its pretty simple. When you look good your feeling good and when your feeling good you have confidence. You don't need to become a juice-monkey penis-head, but get some size and some tone. Women are attracted to men that stay physically fit and acknowledge that you take pride in your appearance.

2. Your Whip - Ok, so living in Vancouver and owning a car can get pretty pricey. But if you have the money for one and your still taking the bus or biking around town, don't think women will find you as being "resourceful", they will find you as "...this dude has no car." It's not really going to fly with date you just picked up in your 6 speed mountain bike or handing her a bus transfer and going across the city to your favorite spot and wasting valuable date time. Worst case scenario? Cab it and save the receipt as a tax write-off. Your car should reflect your personality so stick to someone modern, affordable, and cool. 

3. Have A Life - You don't want to become someones life focus and you  definitely don't want to become theirs. There is nothing worse than dating someone who doesn't have a life. A relationship will have NO room for growth if everything you do together is shared. For it to be interesting and healthy, there needs to be a degree of separation in your lives and in turn, you and your partner will be able to share these new experiences together. "Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade." - Leo Buscaglia

4. A Jack-of-All-Trades - Learn a little about everything. Women are attracted to men who are worldly - a jack-of-all-trades so to say. Women look for smarts as well as looks and they look for engaging conversations. Women love to talk and it's up to men to listen and respond with something interesting. So if your dumb as door-knob, go hit the books.  

5. Sports - Men love to compete and love when women cheer them on. The social aura that comes with playing on the school team is gold. Sports teach us team-work, hard work, being aware of our surroundings, and many other qualities you can probably think of; qualities that women find attractive in men. If your not on a school team, join a local men's league team, or attend open gyms in your area. 

6. Tattoos - Don't rush into this one, but most girls like tattoos. Tattoos accentuate you  and they are a sign or symbol of who you are. Tattoos are nothing in themselves with a strong character to guide them. Tattoos should have a story that goes with them and they should help identify who you are. Just make sure you get someone you still want to look at when your old and pruned.

7. Cunning Linguist - There's just something that women find really sexy about it. The more you speak the cooler you are. Knowledge of language speaks more volume than you probably know. It paints a picture of culture, world travel, adventure, and mystery. Languages casts a new light on a person and the minute a women hears your bilingual, they will instantly gain curiosity to hear more.

8. Read ANYTHING - It will help develop your character and give you depth. You should always be looking to strive and better yourself. You will live a richer and fuller life and your thirst for life will be seen by everyone you encounter. Men will want to be like you and women will strive to be with you.

9. Live for Today! - Look, you never know when your number will be up. It can happen  on any day at any given moment in the weirdest and strangest of circumstances; so don't put off your dreams. There is always time in the day to move forwards and progress to your goal.; so whether you think you can or can't, you are right. Talk to old friends, talk to new strangers, don't dwell on the past and just be in the moment.

10. The Ol' Timers - Old folks hold the key to the past so if you know any wise men and women, sit down and talk to them about what times were like when they were young. You will learn a lot and there is real value about finding out about the past. You'll realize something's never change and a lot of things do, and their experiences may help you with your issues today.

11. Create Something - It could be anything; a painting, a meal, a song, a bird house. It doesn't matter what you create but just create something. Having a sense of accomplishment when  its completed feels great, and creating something out of nothing is where true inspiration lays.

12. Take Risks - Gamble, invest, take a chance and put it on the line every now and then, but not in the casino! It keeps you feeling alive and you will regret the chances that you didn't take; especially when it involves women. Don't go spending your entire savings account, but take calculated risks. 

13. Break Down Your Walls - All of us have been taken advantage at some points in our lives. But what you must remember is that when you wake up on a new day you're still the good guy and what goes around comes around; karma's a bitch. Lowering yourself to their behaviors will just destroy your character and not allowing you to live your life to the fullest. Ya, revenge is sweet but it rarely makes things better.

14. Travel - Going to new places and meeting new people will break you out of your shell where you can let go of your inhibitions and leave your worries and trouble at home. Not only will you be open to strangers, and especially women, but it will also reboot your system and bring culture to your character.

15. Listen! - Women love men that know how to listen, and if your not listening then you could be missing valuable information she may be trying to tell you, directly or indirectly. Most people feel in control if they are the ones talking but this isn't true. When they talk you're the one learning and picking up on their strengths and weaknesses. The one that asks the questions is truly in charge of the conversation and how it will develop. Practice to refrain from controlling a conversation and learn to listen and take note of what is being said and ask open ended questions.