Rain In The City of Singles.

By: Dan_P @KissSpeedDating

So its back! Our long and mostly disliked friend we've come to known in Vancouver, the rain. And it's only 1 day shy of September! Summer you can say, is officially over! Goodbye tan! Goodbye flip-flops! Goodbye bikinis and swim shorts! Goodbye single watering-holes! 

OK, on the contrast the rain is nice too. It rejuvenates the air, waters our lush greens, and it keeps us from going outdoors and killing our liver and wallets. Rain keeps us indoors and comfortable in our homes with the thermostat cranked up. Days spent watching movies and TV, surfing the web, actually being focused on projects, all while being in your sweats and PJs cuddled with your boyfriend or girlfriend. But wait, you don't have one! There is one major downfall to the rain, it's 100x tougher to meet singles in the city! So what do you do?

You get out there, you get a little wet, you get a little dirty, and find a cuddle-buddy!

If you already have one then kudos to you, since you will be showered with warm goodies over the fall/winter season but for those that don't have one and do want to find someone to be hibernate with, well its time to put in some work. 

So where do you go in the rain? 

Pretty much, you are constricted to anything that involves the outdoors so you have to stick with things that are indoor. Some great places to meet singles on rainy days is at the local library, a book store at the mall, a classroom, coffee & internet shops, the laundromat (not even kidding), chill ambient lounges, and of course, the nightclubs. But don't expect to find a real keeper in the nightclub unless you find that remarkable, 1 in a 1,000,000 gem that is super-rare; like finding a nugget of gold in the Grand Canyon. 

Single people are everywhere but it is a lot tougher to point them out when its horrendous outside. But if you are serious about finding a cuddly-buddy, you need to go out there and mingle and talk to everyone, everywhere. Go to all the parties you are invited to even if you don't want to go, you just don't know who will be there waiting to meet you. Its like the famous Wayne Gretzky quote, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." It applies here, too; you miss 100% of the singles you don't talk to.

So with that said get out there and play in the puddles; someone will always hop in to play with you. 

The Better Man.

By: Dan_P @KissSpeedDating 

Right off the bat, let me ask you to think about who do you want to be? Really think about it. Who-do-you-want-to-be? Break the guy down and analyze him. The more you can provide yourself with details, the better. Think about his job, his style, his swagger, his hair, his like and dislikes, his taste in things, and his love of things. If it helps, idolize yourself with your favorite musician, actor, athlete or anyone else you admire. Compare the person you are to this person you want to be. This will allow you to break down and analyze the differences. The only way you will be able to make a transition into the person you want to be is to work on one area at a time; otherwise it will be impossible to do all at once. Don't be someone your not, but it's essential you are always growing and developing yourself. So with that, here are some tips for upgrading you.

1. Work Out - Its pretty simple. When you look good your feeling good and when your feeling good you have confidence. You don't need to become a juice-monkey penis-head, but get some size and some tone. Women are attracted to men that stay physically fit and acknowledge that you take pride in your appearance.

2. Your Whip - Ok, so living in Vancouver and owning a car can get pretty pricey. But if you have the money for one and your still taking the bus or biking around town, don't think women will find you as being "resourceful", they will find you as "...this dude has no car." It's not really going to fly with date you just picked up in your 6 speed mountain bike or handing her a bus transfer and going across the city to your favorite spot and wasting valuable date time. Worst case scenario? Cab it and save the receipt as a tax write-off. Your car should reflect your personality so stick to someone modern, affordable, and cool. 

3. Have A Life - You don't want to become someones life focus and you  definitely don't want to become theirs. There is nothing worse than dating someone who doesn't have a life. A relationship will have NO room for growth if everything you do together is shared. For it to be interesting and healthy, there needs to be a degree of separation in your lives and in turn, you and your partner will be able to share these new experiences together. "Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade." - Leo Buscaglia

4. A Jack-of-All-Trades - Learn a little about everything. Women are attracted to men who are worldly - a jack-of-all-trades so to say. Women look for smarts as well as looks and they look for engaging conversations. Women love to talk and it's up to men to listen and respond with something interesting. So if your dumb as door-knob, go hit the books.  

5. Sports - Men love to compete and love when women cheer them on. The social aura that comes with playing on the school team is gold. Sports teach us team-work, hard work, being aware of our surroundings, and many other qualities you can probably think of; qualities that women find attractive in men. If your not on a school team, join a local men's league team, or attend open gyms in your area. 

6. Tattoos - Don't rush into this one, but most girls like tattoos. Tattoos accentuate you  and they are a sign or symbol of who you are. Tattoos are nothing in themselves with a strong character to guide them. Tattoos should have a story that goes with them and they should help identify who you are. Just make sure you get someone you still want to look at when your old and pruned.

7. Cunning Linguist - There's just something that women find really sexy about it. The more you speak the cooler you are. Knowledge of language speaks more volume than you probably know. It paints a picture of culture, world travel, adventure, and mystery. Languages casts a new light on a person and the minute a women hears your bilingual, they will instantly gain curiosity to hear more.

8. Read ANYTHING - It will help develop your character and give you depth. You should always be looking to strive and better yourself. You will live a richer and fuller life and your thirst for life will be seen by everyone you encounter. Men will want to be like you and women will strive to be with you.

9. Live for Today! - Look, you never know when your number will be up. It can happen  on any day at any given moment in the weirdest and strangest of circumstances; so don't put off your dreams. There is always time in the day to move forwards and progress to your goal.; so whether you think you can or can't, you are right. Talk to old friends, talk to new strangers, don't dwell on the past and just be in the moment.

10. The Ol' Timers - Old folks hold the key to the past so if you know any wise men and women, sit down and talk to them about what times were like when they were young. You will learn a lot and there is real value about finding out about the past. You'll realize something's never change and a lot of things do, and their experiences may help you with your issues today.

11. Create Something - It could be anything; a painting, a meal, a song, a bird house. It doesn't matter what you create but just create something. Having a sense of accomplishment when  its completed feels great, and creating something out of nothing is where true inspiration lays.

12. Take Risks - Gamble, invest, take a chance and put it on the line every now and then, but not in the casino! It keeps you feeling alive and you will regret the chances that you didn't take; especially when it involves women. Don't go spending your entire savings account, but take calculated risks. 

13. Break Down Your Walls - All of us have been taken advantage at some points in our lives. But what you must remember is that when you wake up on a new day you're still the good guy and what goes around comes around; karma's a bitch. Lowering yourself to their behaviors will just destroy your character and not allowing you to live your life to the fullest. Ya, revenge is sweet but it rarely makes things better.

14. Travel - Going to new places and meeting new people will break you out of your shell where you can let go of your inhibitions and leave your worries and trouble at home. Not only will you be open to strangers, and especially women, but it will also reboot your system and bring culture to your character.

15. Listen! - Women love men that know how to listen, and if your not listening then you could be missing valuable information she may be trying to tell you, directly or indirectly. Most people feel in control if they are the ones talking but this isn't true. When they talk you're the one learning and picking up on their strengths and weaknesses. The one that asks the questions is truly in charge of the conversation and how it will develop. Practice to refrain from controlling a conversation and learn to listen and take note of what is being said and ask open ended questions.

Dating Rules for Women

By: Elizabeth_R @KissSpeedDating

I wish there weren't any rules for dating, but courtship is a ritual. There are things that we make happen that excite, stimulate, create interest and bewilder the person of interest. Dating is a long test of compatibility. No matter what kind of “front” you put up, with time all will be unravelled and you will find that you have jeopardized your chance of happiness by not displaying the real you.

The issue here is that when women date, there are some things that can help them be more successful in the long term. If we accept that dating is a game, then there are rules to that game. There are winners and losers. If you know the rules in advance, it gives you a head start. If men know the rules by which you are playing, you may change the rules to suit the situation to keep the man guessing. Men love a challenge, so feel free to adapt rules and add them as you feel inclined.

The Rules

*Always look great, whatever your income. Gorgeous hair and some lip gloss and clothing that leaves plenty to the imagination will undoubtedly turn his head. But don’t go overboard with the MAC forcefield and 6 inch stilettos at the grocery store. The point is not to change what you look like drastically, but to put the best “You” forward. You have the advantage. You are the woman. Look your best as you could meet a potential Mr. Right anywhere at any time.

*Never reveal information you don't have to. An enigmatic woman drives men wild and no one likes a chatter box. If he knows your life story by the end of the first date, what incentive does he have to make an effort to learn more about you?

*Keep dates brief, but your men interested. Less is always more.

*Stay in shape and involve yourself in some sort of fitness regime. However much you hate it, your Mr. Right loves your body as much as your mind.

*Let your man pay if he insists but ALWAYS offer. If he is interested, he is interested enough to ensure you eat well and get home safely in a cab.

*Ensure you touch on your love of flowers. Flowers have great energy, and are not a materialistic gift. My parents have been married for 25 years and still to this day, my father comes home almost every week with a bouquet of flowers.

*Never ever sleep with a guy until he has fallen for you aka you are in a monogamous relationship. Sex early in your dating game plan will ruin everything.

*Never turn up early. And it’s okay to be a LITTLE late. It is a lady's prerogative.

*Never PLAY hard to get, BE hard to get. Men aren’t stupid. If you’re calling him in 3 days after he calls you every time, he’s going to figure out your “game” (if you can even call it that) in a heartbeat. What I mean by being hard to get is to be you and act normally. If your brother calls you during a meeting, you don’t excuse yourself to answer, hyperventilate while you “ignore” the call then make a series of phone calls to all your friends informing that he called, so why would you do all that for a guy you are dating? The biggest mistake women make is becoming obsessive with their dates in their minds, so they try and compensate for it by trying to come across uninterested.

*Never MAKE yourself available for a date. What I mean by that is, just because you can cancel your dinner with a friend in order to go on a date being proposed, doesn’t mean you should. Be honest. Let him know what day works for you best, and if he is truly interested, he will make his schedule work with yours. He will run a mile. He is the one doing the chasing.

*Weekend shopping trips with girlfriends are sacred and not available for dates. Just because you enjoy his company, doesn’t mean you have to invite him out to EVERY outing you have planned with friends/coworkers/family. You should have a life without him.

*Ensure you are a good kisser. Men will walk away if you cannot kiss because it is a preview of how you are going to be in bed. Practice on a mirror/friend if you have to.

*Never ever talk about previous boyfriends, particularly their prowess in the bedroom or how successful they were/how much money they made. Your ex-boyfriends are your business only.

*Never assume anything about your date until you choose to know him better. You cannot always tell by looking. Also, take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. Just because you HEAR he is a player from a friend of a friend, doesn’t mean you have the right to prosecute him. Make up your own mind and opinion based on how he treats you.

*If any man shows the slightest signs of possessiveness or insecurity, run like the wind. Life is too short for boys, you want a real MAN.

*If his shoes or hygiene are a disgrace, dump him. You are making the effort to put your best face forward, so should he.

*Never talk too much about your father and how your date measures up in comparison. Nothing makes a man feel more inadequate than hearing that your father treats you like a princess and showers you in diamonds and lavish gifts. That sets a certain level of expectations that only your father can meet hence the reason why your date never called you back.

*If the guy in the corner is gorgeous, go get him and create the need in him for you. Never wait for men to come to you because you may watch him leave with someone else.

*You may be an Alpha female, but don’t ensue the role of the man in the relationship. A man needs to feel as if he is in charge and doing the chasing and have his ego stroked from time to time.

*If you: are a conservative/democrat, want a child/raise your children with a certain religion, want to get married/don’t want to get married, don't mention it on the first few dates. There is a time to talk about these things and that is NOT when you are newly dating.

*Never ever criticize his mother unless you want to remain single.

Dating Deal Breakers

By: Elizabeth_R @KissSpeedDating

You’re sitting on your computer staring at her/his facebook page for the billionth time today wondering why she/he didn’t call you back. You thought the date went swimmingly. No, you thought it went SUPERBLY. You both indulged in a delicious dinner at that posh restaurant you love, followed by some fancy drinks at the new bar that just opened up and topped off the night with some dancing. A fairytale first date right?!!

WRONG!
Whether it has only been just one date or you have been dating for a few months, there are certain things that bring your romantic journey to an abrupt stop. These “Deal Breakers” know no gender or age and most certainly can morph in to every possible situation you can think of. So what are these shockingly horrendous acts that are so unappealing? I urge you to read on, but I must warn you, you might find yourself guilty as charged. But whoever said “Ignorance is bliss” must have been painfully single.

AWFUL TABLE/RESTAURANT MANNERS
You might have been too busy shovelling that delicious chive garlic mash potato in to your mouth to notice the look of disbelief plastered on her/his face but it was definitely there. Table manners are considered to be a sign of civilization and class, what separates us from animals. 

Please refrain from:
*Cutting your meat like you are sawing a 2 by 4 piece of wood
*Slurping up your pasta
*Ordering on behalf of your date – Feel free to make a suggestion, but the ultimate decision is up to her/him.
*Diving in to the bread basket and touching every piece of bread in the process
*Answering your phone – Don’t even put it on the table.
*Being short/rude to the Server – It speaks volumes about your character.

SHAMELESS FLIRT/WANDERING EYE
Personally, I find it quite attractive when my date can interact with strangers even flirt a little bit. It shows their humour and that they’re good natured and fun. But there is definitely a not so fine line between being nice and shamelessly flirting. Bottom line, it’s disrespectful.

Please refrain from:
*Asking the Server for her/his number
*Ignoring your date in social environments
*Doing a double take of every hot girl/guy that walks by
*Talking/flirting with a friend while your date stands there silently and not introduced

AGGRESSIVE DRIVER
There is a certain level of trust that is required for being a passenger in someone else’s car. You are basically putting your life in the hands of the driver, so it is horrifying to see him/her cut off another car, make that questionable left turn or stick their head out the window and let loose a long list profanities at the poor lady that is driving a little slow. Basically, if your date is holding on to her seat for dear life, you’re doing it wrong.

Please refrain from:
*Driving too fast
*Any display of road rage
*Making any turns/ decisions that are rushed or questionable.

DIRTY FIGHTER
There comes a time when you and your date come to a disagreement or an argument. Whether it is the first date or the 15th, how that first argument goes can determine a lot about your future with that person.

Please refrain from:
*Raising your voice
*Using any sort of profanities
*Cutting the person of in the middle of their sentence
*Refusing to accept his/her opinion

FLAKE/UNSUPPORTIVE
This is a very broad and gray area but very important for starting a healthy relationship. It is a disappointing feeling when you are counting on someone to be somewhere for you or even just to back you up in an argument and they don’t deliver. If she/he doesn’t respect you enough to back you up, I can guarantee that there will be no “long run”.

Please refrain from:
*Not showing up when you have promised to be there
*Not backing up your date in public
*Berating your date publicly for their opinion

LIER
Whether it is a little white lie about going to the gym earlier, or claiming sick when really she/he went away for the weekend or something much bigger and drastic, lying is a deal breaker. Someone who is willing to lie about the insignificant things will also find it within themselves to lie to save face in more imperative circumstances. Honestly is one of the key pillars of any healthy relationship.

Please refrain from:
*Telling any lies, BIG or small.

CHEATER
Cheating is such a slap in the face to you, your trust, whatever you built thus far in your relationship. When your partner cheats, it includes almost every other deal breaker there is and complexes the problem. She/He should have enough respect for you to frankly let you know that your relationship isn’t what they are looking for and to end things with integrity. The second she/he has cheated there should be no second chances. By giving a cheater a second chance, you're encouraging bad behavior and inviting round after round of infidelity. Just walk away with your dignity intact.

Please refrain from:
*CHEATING

10 Easy Summer Dating Ideas

By: Dan_P @KissSpeedDating

The sun is shining, people are smiling, and people are dating! Summer is the un-official dating season and your chances to go out on a hot date rises higher then the mercury on your thermometer.

This is the time of the year to take advantage of the amazing weather and the great dating opportunities that will arise. Your job is to take advantage of it! The April shower's have passed, and with them, our tolerance to be indoors. So, our beloved Mother Nature is handing over a 3 month window to take advantage of the romance and the outdoors with plenty of dating ideas to choose from.

Here are 10 easy summer dating ideas that are packed with fun and are sure to bring a warm smile to your date! The possibilities are infinite, but here are 10 ideas that will make your date melt!

Idea #1 - Ice Cream

Who doesn't love ice cream? And more importantly, what's a summer without ice cream!? In a study in 2006 from the I.I.C.A (International Ice Cream Association), U.S. sales of ice cream and frozen desserts reached nearly $23 billion! The census is in, people love ice cream! So go for walk outdoors and be sure to stop by your local soft serve or ice cream store. Top flavors according to the study are as follows and in order of; Vanilla, Chocolate, Butter Pecan, Strawberry, and Chocolate Chip Mint. Fun Alternative: Go to your grocery store, pick your favorite flavor, grab two spoons, and head out to the park or the beach and dig right in together!

Idea #2 - Fly A Kite

Ok yes, it sounds like a kids date, and that is exactly why your date will love it! Go out and buy a decent kite and one you can be sure to get a giggle out of your date. On a breezy, beautiful summers day, find a large open field or at the beach, and liftoff! Why a kite? A successful launch and a steady flight requires communication, coordination, and team work. In sum, it's the groundwork for a good relationship. So once that kite high soaring high, you and your date have the freedom to lay down and relax, chit chat, and take turns being the pilot. Fun Alternative: Have a little dare devil in you? What's the next best thing besides flying a kite? Being in one! Go para sailing together and you will be assured your dates excitement and happiness will be soaring high!

Idea #3 - Water Play

Its hot out and you and your date are getting a little sweaty and the best way to cool of is with some water fun! Suit up for maritime activities like windsurfing, boogie boarding, para sailing, or if you have some extra pocket money go rent a boat! Water sports like these really get the adrenaline pumping which makes great time for flirting. Fun Alternative: Some prefer the lighter side of things, in which kayaking or canoeing can make for a quiet and intimate time. Enjoy!

Idea #4 -  Stroll Around Town

Go explore your city together and get a fresh perspective on your where you live. Take each other to your favorite points of interest such as your secret hangouts, markets, dream house,  view point, and so on. If you have a dog bring him or her! We all love to talk about our pets and how our dog is the "best dog in the world." Play a game of fetch in the park and it'll show your love for your pet and it'll showcase how caring you can be. Finish by taking a visit to the ice cream store, or for a light snack at your favorite snack bar. Fun Alternative: Get in your car and go for a scenic drive around the city and snap a few pictures of the places you visit. Remember to fuel up!

Idea #5 - Amusement Park

Its the classic date and the ones we always see in the movies. Why? Because it get's the dialogue going. The walks between the rides, games and the wait in the line up all allow for a great conversation and most importantly plenty of getting to know you time. Amusement parks remind people of the kid in us, so you generally feel at ease and care free unless you are about to hop on a ride with a flip or a corkscrew! Instilling a little fear will have your date reaching for your hand on every turn, flip and descent. Go play a few games, hopefully ones you think you'll be good at, and try to win your date a big teddy bear. There might be a kiss waiting for you at the top of the Ferris wheel. Fun Alternative: Go to your local go-kart track and get a thrill and a half chasing each other down the track!

Idea #6 - Picnic

Like the amusement park, a picnic is the tried and true summer date idea that you can't go wrong with.  Go to your local supermarket and pickup some fresh deli meets, light cheeses, fresh bread and juicy fruits. Top it off with a bottle of white wine and a clean, and yes we mean clean, blanket to rest and lay on. If you have a iPod with a iPod dock, prepare it with some soft chill-out music to accompany you. Gaze up at the sky and if it's a little cloudy, see what you can find! Fun Alternative: None! Picnics is the perfect summer date!

Idea #7 - Star Gazing

You might have to drive a little out of the city to get a good shot of the night sky, but it's well worth the effort. Star gazing can be a very romantic evening even if you know
nothing about stars. Bring some light snacks, a warm blanket and get cozy! Happen to catch a shooting star? Make a wish together and whisper it to each other, just make sure its appropriate! Fun Alternative: If you happen to have a planetarium in your city, why not catch a cool show about space and the galaxies and let your minds wonder together.

Idea #8 - Team Sports

Go check out your local sports team, anything that involves a team you're both rooting for. Sharing a passion for sports and your local team will naturally get you talking about other things you like. Extra points if you can grab great seats and a autographed memorabilia. Fun Alternative: Gather up your friends for a friendly game of ultimate frisbee, mini-golf or touch football and top it off with a a BBQ and some great laughs!

Idea #9 - Outdoor Events

A summer in the city is usually packed with festivals, country fairs and street fairs. There are also plenty of outdoor music events, drive in movies, and plays to see. Find something that interests the two of you and go dance, mingle with others, and sing along. Fun Alternative: None! What's better then enjoying together your favorite band play?

Idea #10 - Disposable Camera

These days almost everyone has a digital camera. What does that mean? Better pictures, but a lot fewer weird and "let's delete that one" shots. Remember those crazy pictures you would come across when you finally got around to developing them! So, grab a disposable camera and head off to the park, city or your favorite hangout. Take as many pictures as you can with the camera and be sure to have the both of you included! Drop them off and grab a ice cream while your waiting for them to get developed. Pick them up and see how goofy the two of you can be together! Fun Alternative: Got a creative side? You don't need to be Picasso for this one. Grab some pens or paints, a canvass, and paint pictures of yourselves to the back drop of your favorite scenery.